Since 2012, I have been seeing the same acupuncturist. She is an angel in human form. Each year, she challenges me to choose a word of the year. Sometimes I pick the word. Other times the word picks me. When I graduated in 2020 (the COVID year) my word was “surrender” and I held tightly to two different quotes:
“Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do and use it for a purpose greater than myself.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
– Marianne Williamson
I set the intention to become adequately attuned to “surrender.” I have discovered that in times of chaos, surrender can pull me through. It is a deliciously divine word. It means to give up, to wave the white flag, to allow life to unfold, to muster up peace amongst the chaos.
Trust and Faith
Surrender is founded in trust and faith, while control is its antithesis. Sarah Blondin teaches, we cling to our worries and our fears thinking if they are at the forefront of our mind we can control their manifestation. However, the opposite is true. Fear and worry are traps that create tightness and signals to us that we are not supported.
The truth is, we are always supported. When we let go of controlling and fixing, we allow ourselves to show up with love, forgiveness, and calm. I am learning…
When I feel myself becoming unraveled, I can choose to find the stillness within.
Different religions have different names for this practice. In Hinduism it is referred to as “atman” which in sanskrit translates to “self,” or “breath.” In Christianity, the stillness is tapping into the Christ within. The popular Psalm 46 reads, “Be still, and know that I am God.” In both connotations the message is the same: STOP. Come home to yourself. Find the breath. Be present. Because the kingdom of God lives within.
Trust, affirm, and know you are supported and all is unfolding as it should.
No matter how turbulent the ocean waves of life may be, peace is still available. Light a candle for peace. Trust you have everything you need. Accept the situation and how you choose to show up. It sounds simple, but takes intention, dedication, and practice, and a lifetime to learn. Be still and know you are at peace.
Balancing the Human with the Spiritual
While we surrender to a higher consciousness or the flow of life we also have the responsibility to take guided actions. Balancing the spiritual aspect of surrender with the human part of action is also a practice. Surrender doesn’t have to be, say a prayer and be inactive in the manifestation. There is no empowerment in that. Have faith that all will work out as it should because you will recognize the guided action you need to take. That comes from within.
This is balancing the spiritual parts of us with the human parts of us. We are both.
To be a conduit for something greater than ourselves (Life, God, Spirit, Allah, Universe), we also move into action. Sometimes, the timing of things doesn’t align with our personal timeline. Unforeseen things may be necessary so the Universe can align itself to bring in more of what we are calling for. This is where surrender gets tricky and a little obnoxious.
Trust and always do the next right thing in front of you because, in times of chaos, looking too far down the road begets more chaos.
Walking Through the Fog
In a more recent moment of chaos I took to meditation. I saw a huge cloud of fog and I was suspended in the air walking through the fog. Yet, each time I took a step a stone appeared. This is what surrender can feel like when your life is topsy turvy. You just take the next right step and trust a new stone will appear. This is surrender. This is faith.
Recently in my topsy turvy I embarked on a 24 mile backpacking trip. This was my second backingpacking trip. Go big or go home, amiright? So I meet with a mentor, borrow all the things, and I head out to the Flat Tops of Colorado with my two dogs. I have an old school paper map because I am stubborn and “I don’t need to download a map on my phone that tells me exactly where I am at all times.”
I underestimate my ability to read this map. I’m trying to make it to Marvine Lakes. There are no trail markers. I feel all the regular emotions one feels in this situation; fear, anxiety, worry. I thought I was lost, unsure and knew I had passed “the way.” A few moments before I saw a log setup to cross the creek. It seems right, but I second guessed my intuition (the stillness within) and I kept walking. I am lost and unsure.
Finding the Way
We meander off the path a bit. My dogs seem just as confused. We retrace our steps and opt to navigate the creek. I’m walking across two logs. It is uncomfortable. Will this current take my dogs? I don’t want to get wet again. I got across and continued along what feels like “the way” trusting my canine guides. Their confidence is palpable.
And then, behold Marvine Lakes. Words and pictures fail to capture the magnificence, but they are beyond beautiful; majestic, extraordinary and expansive. There is a crystal clear lake reflecting the heavens and the backdrop of the mountainous landscape. Wildflowers sway to the rhythm of the land and time stands still.
Before Marvine Lakes I stand humbled, utterly in awe.
How many times in life does that happen?
I am lost and fearful and worried, thinking I don’t know “the way” when really it is there all along, calling for me. When I crossed the creek there was still uncertainty, fear, and worry, but I made it to this expansive view. So maybe having a little fear, anxiety, and worry is OK because it’s showing us there is a new way coming up and if we just trust, allow, and surrender we end up in expansion wrapped in something we never could have conceived before.
And sometimes accepting help is absolutely necessary and vital to our growth. Angels come in human form, dog form, and otherwise. This is my growth edge.
Living in the Flow
Living in the flow has meant putting my dreams and ambitions on hold for a higher calling. How I respond to life is indicative of what lives at the center. This is my meaning and my purpose. The flexibility of owning my own business aligns with my values. That flexibility allows me to keep my family at the center and take action in the areas that I value. It turns out work and money aren’t the most important things. If I lived life with work and money at the center I would lose out on things that matter most: my relationships.
When you are in the muck there doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. One day, you will see that life’s challenges offer greater possibilities. The muck can last days, weeks, months, or even years. We choose peace by accepting and letting go. When we accept what is and surrender to it, we allow ourselves to simply be. We become One with a greater truth for ourselves and our life. When we let go, we allow life to emerge.
“You will get there, just keep letting go.” – Michael A. Singer
Forward Motion
In positive psychology there is a term coined, “post-traumatic growth.” This is where we get through the muck and on the other side we find rainbows. As aforementioned this can take days, weeks, months, or years. It all depends on where you are on your journey and if you are willing to open up to seeing the possibility of possibilities. Just remember, things will be shitty for awhile, but they will get better and a slow crawl out is perfectly OK.
For myself, I anticipate resuming where I left off when my life was driven by a higher calling. These challenges have opened myself and Balanceology to even greater possibilities, and I am grateful for the life experiences I’ve gained since Fall of 2022. There was a massive shift for me in 2014, but that deserves its own post. I’m excited about the upcoming launch of “Peace: A Sacred Ritual Set for Letting Go” next month. In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, “Onward and Upward, dear ones.”
Love,
Janna